Soak the shrimp in the buttermilk: In a medium bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, hot sauce, Old Bay, Creole seasoning, Cajun seasoning, paprika, and salt. Add the shrimp and toss to coat every piece. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, or up to 2 hours. The buttermilk tenderizes the shrimp and gives the coating something to grip onto.
Make the remoulade: In a medium bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, ketchup, Dijon mustard, Worcestershire, horseradish, lemon juice, Cajun seasoning, and paprika until smooth. Taste and add salt or lemon juice to your liking, if desired. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, or up to 2 days. The flavor sharpens as it sits.
Set up the dredge: In a wide shallow bowl, whisk together the flour, cornmeal, cornstarch, Old Bay, paprika, and salt.
Heat the oil: Pour 2 to 3 inches of oil into a heavy Dutch oven or deep skillet. Heat over medium-high heat until the oil reaches 350°F on a thermometer. Set a wire rack over a rimmed baking sheet next to the stove for draining.
Dredge and fry the shrimp: Working in batches, lift the shrimp out of the buttermilk one at a time, letting the excess drip off, and dredge in the flour mixture, pressing gently so the coating sticks. Lower into the hot oil and fry, turning once, until deeply golden and crisp, about 2 minutes total. Transfer to the wire rack and sprinkle with a pinch more Old Bay while still hot. Let the oil come back up to 350°F between batches.
Toast the bread: Split the rolls lengthwise without cutting all the way through. Spread the cut sides with softened butter and toast in a 400°F oven or under the broiler until golden at the edges, about 3 minutes.
Assemble the po' boys: Spread a generous layer of remoulade on both sides of each toasted roll. Pile the bottom half with shredded iceberg, then sliced tomato. Top with a heaping pile of fried shrimp. Close the sandwiches, press gently, and serve immediately with lemon wedges and extra remoulade on the side.